Evidence to the contrary:
1) Last week, during a trip to Disneyland, I told my boys they were allergic to cotton candy so they would stop begging for it.
2) At bedtime, in an effort to get my boys to go to sleep by themselves, I tell them that I will be right back. Then I leave the room and stay away until they pass out.
3) I tell my boys that their vitamins/vegetables are magic pills that make them stronger and smarter overnight. In reality, the only thing that makes you instantly stronger and smarter is excessive flattery.
4) Again with the "magic" lies...I tell my boys that there is an invisible force field around their bedroom that makes it impossible for monsters to enter.
5) When Jet asks me if he is going to be big and strong like Daddy when he grows up I tell him yes, even though with a mother who is 4"11, the odds are strongly against him.
6) I allow my children to assume that Darth Vader is real, but have explained to them that the tooth fairy is purely make believe.
7) I told my boys that if they pee off of the top of the backyard shed again the police will come and take them away to jail.
8) I tell my boys that if they pick their noses and fart at school no one will want to be friends with them.
9) I tell Felicia that I'd rather her be a drug addict than an unwed teenage mother, like I was. --- Oh wait, that's actually true.
10) I turn Nick Jr. on for the boys and tell them that Daddy and I need to lock our bedroom door for "wrestling time". This worked until Tru wanted to join us for one of our impromptu wrestling matches. Now I tell him we are making the bed---thank heavens he doesn't find that sort of thing interesting.
11) Perhaps the biggest lie of all: I tell my boys that I know absolutely everything and can tell when they are lying to me.
I mean really, how else am I going to teach my children to be honest, ethical, healthy, well-balanced human beings without bending the truth from time-to-time?
