Memoirs of a Mediocre Mother: Rub-A-Dub Toaster Waffles in the Tub

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Rub-A-Dub Toaster Waffles in the Tub

Call it brilliant multi-tasking or sheer laziness, but this is what happens when we oversleep and the school bus is on it's way, leaving no time for both breakfast AND a bath. Toaster waffles meets tub-time. Bon Appetit!

A personal pat on the back, however, for following Dr's orders by not allowing Jet to get his cast wet.

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Mediocre Mother... guilty as charged

Here's the thing: I can barely boil water. For me, cooking is a survival skill and nothing that brings me any real sense of gratification. Eating, on the other hand--so long as it's out--I adore. Cleaning, I'm quite competent at, although most days I only do it in anticipation of company. Bedtime? What's that? My husband and I work in the entertainment industry (no, we're not porn stars, that would pay better) so regimented routine doesn't exactly come with the territory.

And here's the kicker, I don't always put my children first. Let's be clear, I don't beat them or mistreat them, but some days, selfishly, I make sure Mommy's happy above all else and let the rest follow suit. What's more, (get ready to gasp) I own a production company and work multiple unconventional jobs, (we'll get to that) including booking bands, circus performers, and being the troupe leader of a burlesque group. I once went so far as to neglect my children and house for days on end while completing my first novel of fiction, which STILL has yet to be published, despite signing a contract with a publishing agent.

It's hard NOT to feel guilty while surrounded by slews of seemingly perfect, well-put-together, organic-cookie-baking, scrapbook-making, other mothers my age. Some nights, after the same old tired rendition of "Rock-A-Bye Baby", I realize that the only thing I ever do perfectly in the space of a day for my children is LOVE THEM with my whole heart. This much, mediocre as I may be, I always manage to get right.